2009

2day is the last day of 2009~

it suppose 2 be happy bt i am stress
due to my dad`s harvest is not good as wt he expected
and he almost repeated his old habit again , throw temper 2 all of us

luckily i gotta go for badminton , so manage 2 escape it
but i still cant escape whn i reach home~

Dad is always the only one factor which cause all the family members bcome tense , suffer from pressure.

Y should we keep worry abt those crops every year?
Y we cant lead a peaceful life?
Y u cant controll ur temper well instead of keep throw temper towards us?

Did u ever think of our feeling??

I noe the crops problem trouble u lots and we can comprehend it ,
bt is tis the reason for u 2 throw ur temper 2 us?
U should find the way bt not keep throw temper around~

We all re ur family member , nt the toy for u 2 throw ur anger 2!

It is so tense for me once i see u throw ur temper recklessly and mutter around*

Did u noe tat we super duper hate ur temper?

I hate whn i see my family which should in happy state bcome chaos.
My family should be happy + peace ,
y bcome like tis?

Tis is nt the 1st time u repeat such habit ,
we all endure it all the time, from 1st time till nw
Don u think tat it is enough ??

I am STRESS!~
bcause of tat habit u unwilling 2 change
bcasue of mum keep heave a sigh
bcasue of u all think tat the course i taking is totally useless
bcause of my tuition fee is 2 high for u
bcasue of i didnt work for tis long holiday

Well , i had found out the reason y i m nt a homesick ppl.

I promise;
Next holiday,
I wont stay at ptn for so long
mayb a few weeks
tat enough for me*

Sometime i even think tat,
a family is unnecessary thing for me*

End*

Miserable for whole day after u decided 2 break wif me via sms ~
the feeling is like something which is important 2 me has gone forever bt i cant find it

I decided to give up myself instead of choosing one of them
the ending of tis incident is under my expectation ,
i prefer 2 let go 2 of them rather than love one of them and make the other party live in hell.
No ppl win among 3 of us bt all lose.
I think tis is the optimum result.

Jenn blame me due to i cant make decision asap ;
Dar blame me due to i am a 2 timer~

Jenn , mayb i should ask u a question ; if i wan u dump either ur dad or ur mum asap , who will u choose?
If u manage 2 dump one of them bt nt urself thn u r reali a cruel ppl.

For Dar , i m truly sorry for those things tat hurted u badly~
U r the only one who i reali guilty of.
I noe u treat me well and I have more feeling towards u due to we had been together for 1 year.Somemore the way u treat me is better thn Jenn.
Appreciated lots*

If forget someone is easy , remember wif longing will nt present in tis world.

Lastly , i choose no one bt myself
Now ,i am single officially.

...

kinda frustrated~
donno whether i choose the correct path or not~

the course i choose is Environmental Management in Monash University
the reason y i choose tis course is due to 2 main reasons :

1)the environmental issues will be more important in future
2)my interest towards tis course

It seem great since i had made my choice bt there is something went wrong

RESULT

it is sad that i flunk my 1st sem
and cause my parents and my sis need 2 spend more $ on me~
somemore i lose the qualification of ptptn loan for next sem due to my poor result.

it is all bullshit tat thy say result is not equal 2 everything~
if u have a bad result , u cant get any job whn u had graduated

VIEWS FROM FRENS+FAMILY

I admit tat i can be easily affected by other~
thy all look down on me due to i participated in tis course because thy think tat tis course has no future.
somemore thy say tis course is 2 plant trees and flowers only , suck , no popular.

Whn i answered them wt i study , thy all have same reaction

"Har?? wt is tis course??"
"Wt is career for tis course??"
"U sure wont get any job wif better salary in future"
"Ur future career is cleaner??"

it is hurt whn thy say those things out in front of me

because of such objection and teasing , i started 2 lost my interest in tis course

Besides result , the objection from the others make i wanna change course~

Can i change the course??
is tat any turning b for me?
i don think so

if i reali wanna change my course, thn i gotta wasted my 1st sem time + $$ and start over again in new skul
20k wasted and tis is not a small amount for my family

i am STUCK , reali*

all my family members have high expectation on me bt i cant do well

*i flunk my 1st sem , did very bad for my final exam , waste more $$ + time , lost the qualification of ptptn for next sem,if next sem cant get better result gotta waste more $$ + time.

Sometimes , i think tat i am reali a spendthrift.
I cant performed in everything bt keep wasting my sis + parents `s $$
I wonder y my friend who failed all 4 subjects for his engineering course can live happily till now

the tense + pressure on my shoulders bcome heavier and heavier
If can , i planned 2 kill myself secretly bcause i cant find any reasons or excuses for me 2 continue live on tis planet

I cant do well in everything!!
flunk my pmr spm pre-uni and nw is degree!!

i felt sry for those who support me till nw ,especially my family members + dar

interest nvr be an option bt future is!

wt a failure i am...

My 1st visit 2 dar`s house

Ytd I had undergo my duty as a driver , to fetch my dar dar who just went b from her kl trip~
and bring her home after having our supper due to dar dar is slightly fever*

Dar`s mum is super enthusiasm~ treat me eat lots
@.@
and i and dar`s mum has a great conversation

I kinda admire the spirit which dar`s mum has.
She gotta take the whole family by her own after her husband passed away
Just like ytd , i stay at dar`s house waiting her mum came b from clinic due to dar`s bro was sick.
After work , thn bring her son go 2 clinic and gotta do the housework whn reach home.

For me , i cant withstand such pressure , but dar`s mum can*

tons of work + pressure make Dar`s mum kinda old which is not matched with her age.

Dar,
u should appreciate tat u hv such a great mum
=)

A mum which can take over the responsibility from ur dad and her own.
Many ppl cant withstand such pressure but ur mum did
=)

The 1st impression dar`s house for me is calm+simple~
it just quite alike wif my grandmum house which located in kampung area.
The only thing i hear is the voice from crickets which can calm my mind down
and i like dar`s house lots especially during nite time


Sometimes , simple is better
doesnt it??

upgrade??

2morrow going to sg~
sound like go sg for trip bt it is nt

SELF UPGRADE.

tis is the only aim i go sg.
Frankly i am a hollow person which has no any talent

And it`s hard for such a hollow person 2 survive under such competitive circumstance.
competitive come from anywhere + anytime which enough 2 suffocate me.
Tat y i join dance class and music class.

I hate such competitive ways bt it is unavoidable, competition is a must*

I am the eldest among my sister in this family once my elder sister go 2 sg.
It sound cool for the name of elder bt the stress which withstand by the eldest is enormous.

u gotta be as perfect as u can ,no matter how.
There is no negotiable if u remain still and didnt keep on moving

Tat is wt i noe till nw.

Nobody will save u if u keep remain still at the same place.

I gotta be stronger!!

Hope tis sg trip can act as the accelerator for me

upgrading ..

✿1st Article✿

a BRAND new blog for me =)

well , time for me 2 intro

✿Name : Wei Jie
✿Religion : Atheism
✿Things I like : A few
✿Things I dislike : Many

I am 19 years old , heading to 20 soon~
ntg special abt me , jus wanna lead a simple life
=D